All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have post one night stand depression
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