I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
