I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
