Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
