32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
