Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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