i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
