why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
