Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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