yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
