Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just threw up on my dentist
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
