I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
