I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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