You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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