i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
did you just send me my own nude
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i believe in u and ur pee
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