Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
