who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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