We're like a lot better than the average bears
You can't special order awesome
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
