im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My ATM looks so different sober.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
