doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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