Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
