i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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