I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
