All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
