What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
