just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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