How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
