I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
