how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
