he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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