I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
