Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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