I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The power of my boobs compel you
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
