I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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