your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
