ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
