omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
