***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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