It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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