I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
