then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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