he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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