..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
