i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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