is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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