Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
