Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
