i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
