Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
