To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
