you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
